সব চরিত্র কাল্পনিক নয় ... (শেষ দৃশ্য, শেষ অঙ্ক, হয়ত আমার শেষ নাটক )

                  

 (শাশ্বত দু হাঁটু দু হাত দিয়ে মুড়ে Centre Stage-e বসে আছে ... Backdrop-এ সমুদ্রের আওয়াজ... )

শাশ্বতঃ   সমুদ্দুর ... সমুদ্দুর ... আমার ঘর ভর্তি কিরকম সমুদ্রের জল ,না? অ্যাই,অ্যাই ... Stop .. Stop .. আমায় না, আমায় টাচ করবি না ... হ্যাট, হ্যাট ... হুরররর ... আর ভেজাস না আমায় ... এই খোলস টা, এই খোলস টা ছাড়তে পারবো না, না?

 (হাসির আওয়াজ ... আস্তে আস্তে সেটা যেন আটকে আসছে,কান্না কান্না শোনাচ্ছে যেন )

এই মন খারাপ, এই ডিপ্রেশান ... এই সবকিছু ভেঙ্গেচুরে তলিয়ে যাচ্ছে , খুব মানায় না আমাকে? খুব মানায় ... 'হিট' , না? অ্যায শাহরুখ খান ... হাঃ হাঃ ...

অ্যাই অ্যাই হাসছেন কেন? হাসছেন কেন হ্যাঁ? কত কষ্ট করে একটা Climax বানিয়ে তুলছি , হাসছেন? ছিঃ !

 (এবার Magic-এর ভঙ্গি, পকেট থেকে একটা কয়েন বের করবে ...  দর্শক দের দিকে দেখিয়ে ... )

Head I win .. Tail I lose .. Head I win .. Tail I lose ... Head I win ... Tail ...

(কয়েন টা আকাশে ছুঁড়বে , শুন্যে ঘুরতে ঘুরতে হাতে এসে পড়লেই মুঠো বন্ধ করে হাতটা পকেটে ... নিজেও দেখবে না !)

হাঃ হাঃ হাঃ হাঃ ... (হাসতে হাসতেই যেন কান পেতে কি একটা শুনবে ... ভালো করে শোনার চেষ্টা করছে যেন ... Stage-এর একদিকে এগিয়ে গিয়ে ... )

ওই ... ওই যে মিছিলটা ... আবার, আবার বেরিয়েছে ... লাশের মিছিল ... (মিছিলের দিকে তাকিয়ে চিৎকার করবে ... )

আ ... আমি আছি ... মিছিলে আমিও আছিইই ...

নিলো না ... ওরাও আমায় নিলো না ... ঝিনুক ... ঝি-নুক ... ঝিনুক ... (দীর্ঘশ্বাস)

নেই ... নেই ... নেই ...

(হঠাৎ খেপে উঠে স্টেজের সামনে দৌড়ে যাবে ... উপরে তাকিয়ে ... )

শালা ! খুব বাতেলা মেরেছিলে না? কোথায়?কোথায়? ... কোথায় হ্যাঁ? ...

এই যে জীবনটা ফুরিয়ে যাচ্ছে ... একবার ভাবো ... কেমন করে ধোয়া যায়, এক জন্মের এত দুঃখ? এত পাপ? ...

This is the way the World ends ...

This is the way the World ends ..

This is the way the World ends ... 

Not with a bang, but a whimper ... 

(একটা দেশলাই বাক্স হাতে থাকবে ... একটা একটা করে কাঠি জ্বলতে জ্বলতে বলতে হবে এই কথাগুলো ... )

Shudhu Ghum ..

Ushnotar abaroner niche, bhalobasa jakhan

          gole gole ghum hoye name e shahore ..

Aaro ekbar madari-r khela sesh kore,

         Canvas-e bose kori gonen Ring-Master ...

Aspashto hoye aase samasto jwar,

      Aamrao sere uthte thaki, bishad sindhu paar hoye

Nishedh o Ichhe haat dhore hnatte thake

       Hnattei thake .. Mrityuder pash katiye ..

  Aloukik debjane takhan

        prachur bhir, kolahol .... Mela bose jaay

udbastu sob byartho ponkti-r ..

        (Jar kayekta aamra likhte chai ni konodin ..)

Tabuo, sesh drishye sei sob chhapiye

            shudhu ekti dirgha-shwasher awaz shona jay,

Nandini-r mrito chokhe

             neme aase ghum ... shudhu ghum ...

পুরোনো কবিতা

১

শব্দের হাত ধরে ছিলো
      একমুঠো নির্বাক প্রেম,
আঙুলের ঘুমের ভিতর
       এলোমেলো কথা ছিলো খুব ...


আলগোছে শেষ করা রাস্তায়
    লেগে ছিলো অবুঝ বিকেল
বুড়িগাঙ-ও চুপ করে ছিলো
     হাওয়ার সে জানতো খবর ...


এ শহরে নির্জন ছিলো
   রঙ থেকে খুঁজে নেওয়া রঙ


এ শহরে নির্জন ছিলো
  রঙ থেকে মুছে গেলো রঙ ...


                                               
২

দিনটা গড়িয়ে বিকেলের হাত ধরতেই,
দূরের আ্লো হাতছানি দিলো ওদের ...
উষ্ণতা ভাগ  করে নিচ্ছে ওরা,
                ওই দেখো ...

অন্ধকার তার সবটুকু রহস্য নিয়ে
থমকে যাচ্ছে নদীর জলে,
হারিয়ে যাচ্ছে ওদের চোখে,
আলো খুঁজে পাবে বলে,

কে বলবে ওরা নাকি এ শহরের
সবথেকে হতভাগ্য দুজন ...


  
                   

Purono chithi

Anek anek din aage aami amar bandhuke ei mail ta korechhilum..  Hubahu tule dilam ..

Ekta chhotto koifiyot darkari, aamar sei elvish friend-er kache jar lekha tar ajante aami nijer tar sathe melachhi ...

Bachhar duyek aageo Sharodiya sankhya-y dekhtam bikhyato lok-der ekantoi byaktigato chithi patro anekdin pore tader bhakto ra churi-chamari kore chhepe dey ar bole "agranthito, aprakashito" chithi .. tate dosh hay na ..

Bikhyato haoa ta holo na.. amar chithi chapati jhnapbe emon bhakto amar konodin chhilo na .. Aaj ekta Junior-er sathe katha hochhilo .. Chhele ti anek rakamer nesha kore .. jar modhye sab theke barota bodhhay pahar ... Himalay .. Mone porlo anekdin aage, jakhan aamar bayes oder maton.. aamra tin bondhu hathat ekdin beriye porechhilum ekta durer pahar chorte ..

Kolkatay ashtomi shuru hobe ar ektu pore ... Aamar maa snan kore laalpaar shari pore anjali dite jaben thalay arghyo sajiye .. Kolkata kolkata tei thakbe bheeshon bhabe .. Ar takhan-o anekdure kono ekta charai-utrai-e bishram nite bosbe rucksack kandhe aamader fele aasa 21 bachhar bayes ... 'Are aapni tollygunge naki? .. aami to oidikei Kalighat ..'   

Ei alpo sharater rang-laga roddure aamader ki jeno hoye jaay .. na?

Dear Arijit,

          Tor mail ta ekkhuni pelum....amar phone ta majhkhane kharap hoye gechhilo...basically jole bhije bhije battery ta fule dhol hoye gechhilo..ar charge rakhte parchhilo na...ekhon abasya ekta jaali charger lagiye phone take pray thik kore felechhi....tui jabi jantam..kintu..seta hathat kore samne chole asbe erokom kore idea chhilo na...asole aami tor jabar date tao bhule gechhilum...ekbar aamio call korle hayto jabar aage ekbar dekha hoto....

ki janis to,aami nijeke niye majhe majhe eto byasto hoye pori je charpasher loker dike takano tao hoye othe na...ekhon bichhiri raam helpless lagchhe....dhut!!...aami bodh hay ei rakam-i...perfectly imperfect,sabkichhur jonyoi...

jaihok...ekhon aami aager theke anekta samle niyechhi..delhi khub help korechhe...oi 20 ta diner respite ta amar khub khub darkar chhilo..amra delhi thakar samay majhe tin bondhu mile haridwar-gangotri-gomukh-

tapoban sab ghure esechhi...haate poisa pray kichhui chhilo na..hathat kore thik kore beriye gechhilum..aami,panu ar rajarshi...tana 4+16=20 ghanta journey kore haridwar vaya gangotri pouchhechhilum..sekhan theke treck kore gomukh..ar gomukh ero pare aaro dangerous route tapoban..abasya aami tapoban-er churoy jete parini..sinusitis er jonyo majherastay swashkasto e atke gechhilum....

gomukh jabar rastay kichhu majar abhigyata hoyechhe...lifetime experience..truly..aamader sathe tin sadhur alap hoyechhilo..mahakal baba,hathi baba ar ramdas baba...tinjone tin te ostaad...basically oi gomukh obdi rasta thake treck karar maton..sekhan theke tapoban ta glacier cross kore jete hay..glacier shunlei mone jemon baraf dhaka sada kichhu ekta bhese othe,temon nay...baraf-er pahar..kintu upore mati,pathor chapa deoa..seta abar theke theke sore jay..dhose jay..mane je rasta ta diye upoer uthbi..ferar samay hayto dekhbi se rasta tai ar exist kare na...dekhle sotti bolchhi fete jay...ar bhabte paris oi sadhu gulo jara ekta ekahari ekta falahari..oisab er modhye diye tiring tiring korte korte chole jay..uff....aami jakhan khub keliye gechhilum namar samaye mahakal baba ekta joributi khete diyechhio,seta kheye aami tuktuk kore lafiye lafiye neme esechhilum..poer barite ese shunlam ota naki hashsih chhilo..bhab...ar ekta din to aami saradin emon charas kheyechhi babader adday bose je gunda(rajarshi) ar panu amay khujte beriyechhilo ratre....

tabe afsosh ektai ...amader karur camera chhilo na..tai chhobi tola haytni kichhui...

tora jekhan e thakbi sekhan thekeo basicaly hill station gulo kachhakachhi jaigai..jodi treck korte nao paris..at least noinitaal.mussourie..ar ja ja parbi ghure asis..himalay manush ke anek kichhu sekhay...seta na gele konodin-o bujhtam na..

ar hya..agray jas..tajmahal-e anekkhan bose assis..red fort-e ekbar dariye bhabis thik jekhane tui dariye aachhis ekdin oikhane,thik oikhanei akbar,jehangir era dariye asto jaoa surjo ke dekhto..kintu selam korto na..surjo oder seshbar kurnish kore dube jeto.....ekbar abasyai jama masjid-e jaas..ar jatoi kashto hok..tower tay uthe gota delhi take dekhis,ar bhabis ekdin eita gota ta karur samrajyo chhilo..ar etao ekbar bhabis raja ar samrat alaada jinis...king haoa kothin..kintu hayto possible...emperor haoa ta assol byapar...

ferar samaye abar aami train miss korechhilum..jedinkar train chhilo..ami tarparer din station-e pouchhoi..aami r panu....tarpar ekta sleeper class-e bathroom-er darjar pashe loker lathi,hagumutur modhye ghoste ghoste firechhi..se abar arek experience...

jaihok..sobmiliye bhaloi aachhi..guccho kaaj korechhi fire..tarpar last robbar sab submit kore fele tana tindin,abar ekdin gap ,abar tarparer din maal kheyechhi....ekhon GRE gatachhi....

aami samle nebo..nite habe..ar kichhui karar nei re...

jaihok...bhalo thakis..bhalo rakhis..ar hya...eta mone rakhis...it's not enough to be a good man,u must be a strong man also....samne anek juddho baki....asha kori nijer naam tar mane tui khub bhalo korei janis....

ar ki???mail koris....abasyai koris..khub bhalo lage....

..........................tata...habu.

On 6/27/07, Arijit Banerjee wrote:

dear habu,
porsu chole jachhi.tor sathe dekha karar khub ichhe chhilo kintu holo na,18 th obdi project tarpor kenakati,samajikata korte kortei samai sesh hoye gelo. robbar chhotomasir bari gechhilum,
toke anekbar try korlam jodi bikele meet kora jai,kintu tor phone off chhilo.
bhabte kharap i lage je jakhon tui churanto kharap somoy er madheye diye jachhis,tor pase khub ekta darate parlum na. natun kore balar kichhu nei, tabu boli u r a special person, truest human being i've ever seen. and thats the only reason u r my best friend.
aabar kabe asbo jani na,tui o hoito takhon anya kothao thakbi,jai hok dekha to aabar nischoy habe. aami giye natun no toke janiye debo, mail e contact rakhis. bhalo thakis, nijeke bodle felis na, u will become a star. sei card tar moto toke arekta kabita dedicate korlum..


" Today I step into a new world,
old memories to you I bid farewell.
Today I come out of my shell,
hidden pain and dismal thoughts farewell.
Today a fresh hope I have felt,
to you unfulfilled dreams farewell.
Today I am born new you can tell,
my past to you I bid farewell. "

Mithye.. mithye?

"Aaj theke sob mithye katha tomar holo,
Jemon amar sob kobitai Shankha Ghosher"     [Srijato]

Mithye kathar sathe aamar samparko ta besh jotil ebong kichhuta gopon .. orthat anekta abidho prem-er mato .. tabu, bodhhay ei ekta jinis aamar bna-haater kore angulti sasnehe dhore hnete esechhe gato pochhis ta bachhar, badhyo premikar mato .. ebong ekhan ei akaal bardhokye jakhan aaynay damra galfola ekta lumpener mukh ke nijer mukh bole mene nite hay, takhan-o abore-sabore sei mithyei aamar sarkari R chinho .. dekhe na nile thokben ..dekhe nileo ...

                                         Takhan aami nehat-i chhoto chhilum, baap-jytahar dhamak kheye half-pentul pore douratam dokan-bajare, amar Aranyadeb takhan kilawui-er belabhumite Diana-ke niye jabo jabo korchhen, parar morer lalu-bhulu takhan lyaj ar jib narate narate aamar pichhu pichhu .. hathat samner barir anjali pisi kan-ento kara hasiti hese jigges korten .."baptuuuuuuuuu ... kothaaaaaaaaaaay cholliiiiiiiiiii?'
 .. etake protibiplob bole kina jana nei , tobu sei nishpaap shoishobeo onake mithyeta na bole, sotti bolchhi partam na .. mudir dokan jaoar thakle boltam laundry, laundry hole hayto binay-er pan-biri-r dokan .. ebong seshmesh hayto konotitei na giye jetam chhotrish mile durer ek hindusthani dokane, jekhane ek takar jinis paoa jeto baro aanay .. ar bari fire school-er bag gochhate gochhate amlanbadone boltam ..'ei samay tay bujhle ma, baddo bhir ..' ..

sei baro aana ekhan fule fnepe kothay dariyechhe janina.. aami school,college,office anekkicchu periye ese pouchhechhi adhuniktamo mrityu upotyokay .. aamar sei aranyodeb ekhan kilawui-er belabhumi chhere ese binay-er dokane pan bandhen, Anjali pisima o tar jhargushti ke aami hawa kore diyechhi kobe se khabar Anandabazar-o rakhen na .. tobuo .. ei ekakitwer majheo aamay bhoriye rakhe sei mithye sobkichhu ..

Mithye ekta jiban.. tar sathe amar mithye mithye samprako ... tader niye chhotrish  hajar mithye kobita o galpo .. ar bodhkari tar chaiteo beshi kichhu mithye hoye jaoa swapno .. sotti-i to .. mithyegulo na thakle bakita kothay dnarabe bhabteo bhay kore .. na? athacho,ei ektao sotti hole ki aami khushi hotam?...

Janen .. aamake Nandini jakhan bole .. aami naki ekdin baro habo.. khub bhalo likhbo jakhan .. aamar lekha boi hoye berobe .. sei takhan o porbe aamar boi .. o seidintar jonye apekkha kore ... aami prathomei protibad kori , hese orai tarpor anek kicchu agdum bagdum bolte bolte dekhe feli sei ek-i swapno .. Aamar boi .. Aamar akshar .. Nandini-r aanguler dogay ese gole jachhe ghumer mato ..

Nandini majhpothe katha chhere chole jaay .. Paronto bikele e shaharer sajano footpath diye hnete hnete aami bari firi khub bhalo mone .. Aamar bna-haater kore aangul ta chhunye thake se .. Mithye ..

Ekti bichhinnotabadi sanglaap ...

Eta 2009 saal .. Aamar bari kolkatay .. Dumdum-er oidiktay .. aamar barir samne ekta khub purono jamrul gachh aachhe.. aage anek gulo chhilo..ekhon eke eke morte morte ektai achhe .. oi sadakaku der uthoner uporei gachh ta .. baba bolen baba jakhan chhoto chhilen.. takhan naki oi gachhe uthten.. aami chhotoobelay khub bhitu chhilum.. ebong hya..bhalo chheleo.. aamar oi gachh tar sathe bandhutto sudhu aamar ekti aswastikar thikana-chinhe ... aamar parar naam jamrultala ...

Aamader ekta khelar maath-o chhilo...Santra-paray .. majar katha holo oi paray ekjon-o santra thake na .. ar ekta club chhilo..amader kayekjoner toiree kara.. Prabaho.. naamta kar matha theke beriyechhilo ei bardhokye mone pare na.. tobe eta sure je tar durodrishti asamnayo chhilo.. bingsho shotabdi sesh habar sathe sathe je kata jinish e prithibi theke uthe jaay tar modhye 'Prabaho' chhilo anyotamo .. kono ek barshar bikele mathe katogulo lok ese khunti punte diye chole jaay .. tarao ar fereni mathe.. amrao na .. Prabaho apatato stabdho hoye parer prajanmer dike asahay drishti chhunre dey bikelguloy.. er theke beshi bodhhay tar kicchu deoar chhilo na konodin-i ...

Ei bhabei bodhhay aamader chhotobela gulo ekta ekta purono jolchhobi hoye jaay aamader ajante .. amader britto gulo ektu ektu kore chhoriye pore.. aamra jara baro hote shikhe gechhi khub taratrai ..tarao shikor kete feli ekdin ar bhabi ..'ei to besh urchhi ..na?' ..... na ..eta oi aabege chobano bhjije biscuit nay .. eta oi aadi akrittim ekakitwo .. eta oi ekta paranto bikel.. aami eka ekta barite ba park-er bench-e ..nijei nijer kandhe haat rekhe bolchhi .. 'cho..sondhe hoyechhe.. bari fera jak ebar ' ...

Karon.. eta oi santra-parar churi hoye jawa math na.. eta Salisbury.. eta sujog khojar desh .. ar kicchui khuje na pawar ba konokicchhui khujte na chawar desh .. ekahne bikel hay rate.. raat hoy sakale . ar sakal gulo lajjay ar mukh tule takay na surjer dike .. Ekhane sob kicchui bhalo, sundor, kothao etotuku jeno moila nei .. aami-o roj hantte hantte sankuchito hoye jai.. bodhhay ei ektu nongra kore dilam.. agochhalo kore dilam prithibir brihattamo show-piece take ... lajja hay . bishwash korun.. hay .. oi je bollam na.. taratari baro hote bhalo hote shikhechhilum.. ar tar fnake kakhan je roddur bishti jal hawar bhasha bhule gechhi bujhte deyni keu ... Majhrate jakhan ese bosi aamar ghore .. ardhek prithibi dur theke bheshe aase bondhu der gala ... ektu aabchha .. ektu aspashto .. ar anekta anyarakam....

'Kire kemon mosti hochhe?' .. 'Ektao blonde tulli?' ... 'Kemon lagchhe bol tor swapner desh?' ....

Aamader ekta anko chhilo class five-er gonit boi-te .. sabbai parto.. oi je ekta choubachhay duto kol aachhe..ekta diye 10 minute-e choubachha puro bhorti hay ..arekta diye 5 minute-e bhorti choubachha khali hoye jay... duto eksathe chalale katokkhone bhorti hobe choubachha ta?..

Ektu ultoplata bollam na number gulo? .. Na Mahoday..

Welcome to America !!!....

Mukhomukhi .. Adhikarheen ..

"Sob nei mlan kore shudhu aachhe ekjon,

ar..

Mukhomukhi.. Adhikarheen seo aachhe" ..

Amar jakhan bayashta motamuti bardhokyer kachhakachhi .. banprastha-i jakhan ekmatro bikalpo,basanto-batash noy .. eta sei takhankar galpo.. kono ek bikhyato lok bole gechhilen.. 'sob golper ekta shuru..ekta sesh ar ekta majhkhan thake .. not necessarily in order" .. ei galpotar ekta shuru chhilo ... ekebare domrano-mochrano ekta sesh aami dekhechhi .. majhkhan ta ekdin asbe,ei ashay ekhon likhe rakhchhi sei itihaas ..

Nandinir sathe aamar sesh dekha tar katha bhule gechhi aami.. shudhu eta mone achhe sedin gobhir ratre ki bolte cheyechhilum oke....

"Hayto, erpor khub sabdhane pa felte felte amra atikrom kore jabo ek ek ta alokbarsho .. nayto kono achena,abujh rastay neme aasbe paapmugdho bikel amader ajante .. Nandin... Amra nishan uriye diyni ardhek jiboner simante.. Tai mrityu khuje nik amar ashorirmon bhalobasa .. rupkathara konodin-i ar gaan geye uthbe na tor thont chhuye .." ..

Hya ekta ashchorjo raat chhilo seta .. amar ghar theke alpo mukh ber kore aami anekdin por dekhchhi aakash ta aalo aalo seje aache.. karur gala pachhi na kothao theke.. jeno unmukh noishbdo chumbon chaichhe .. aami bhabchhilum ei byapartake ekta kobitay ankle kemon daray .. hathat dekhi anek dur theke sobuj salwar .. se aaschhe .. Nandini aaschhe ... aamar mone holo jeno o ekkhuni ese dnarabe samne .. or nirjon chokh ekbar takabe .. aamar gale satdiner na kamano dari ..ar asahya prasab-jantronar pore tori haoa du tinte choritro ... hayto ekbar aamra hawa-y uriye debo anushashon .. ar e shahare neme aasbe abikol himanko ..

'Jhoupatar fnake fnake jhore porchhe kobitara ..

Ar aamar mrito rajdhani te neme aschhe arekta aschorjo ratri' ....

Na Nandini aseni .. Athoba eleo aami thik janina .. khub byasto chhilum.. bishwash korun.. Hayto esechhilo .. Hayto oi gharei .. anushashon tuchho kore amay jigges korechhilo ki kichhu?.. shunte paini .. sotii paini .. Nirjon chokh chumbon cheyechhilo ki ekta? .. Rattire khub brishti porechhilo ki baire sedin??.. janina ... janina .. aami sotti khub byasto chilum .. sei din .. sei raat .. Nandin er jonyoi ekta kobita .. Nandin esechhilo .. hayto .. kintu ..bishwash korun..sei muhurte khatar theke ekbar chokh tulle.. sei je gunjan ta.. sei gunjan ta ekdom hariye jeto .. oi kobita ta toiree hoto na ar konodin... Na hole ..

Ta chhara... Nandini-der janyo lekha kobitar theke to Nandini ra konodin-i baro nay ..na????

Roddurer katha bhabte bhabte ..

"Amader modhye je ekhon mastery kore,
Anayase se daktar hote parto..
Je ukil hote cheyechhilo..
Daktar hole tar emon kicchu kshoti hoto na...
Athacho sakoler-i ichhepuron holo,ek amolkanti chhara,
Amolkanti roddur hote pareni ....
Sei Amolkanti .. Roddurer katha bhabte bhabte je ekdin roddur hote cheyechhilo ... "

Aamar ekta bondhu chhilo .. Sourav ... School-e eksathe portam ar bugbazar multipurpose kimba rajkumari balika vidyalayer bus-ta school-er samne diye gele doure doure shosthitolar mor obdi jetam... Sourav-o jeto ki? mone pore na aajkal.. O takhan prem korto .. 'O-ra' takhan prem karto ... Aami dekhtam dure bose .. Aami-o cheshta krtam..kintu, thik hoto na .. rattirer class-er pore jhopejhare lukiye propose korechhilum ekdin... ar tobin road obdi hatte hatte cigarette khete khete driro nischit hoye gechhilum ... ar kakhhono na ... never!!

Ar obodharitobhabe abar porer din Jogeshda-r coaching-e notes na tuke ha kore takitye chhilum.. jatokkhan na o khub baro baro chokh kore amar dike takay...
Sourav takhan thekei kobita likhto ...

Aamader beshir bhag loker-i sei alpo boka boka chhotobelar coaching theke aajker ei corporate cubicle-er majhkhan ta hariye gechhe kothao ekta.. ba bola bhalo byapar ta oi aadim manush theke lalkrishna advani obdi bibortoner mato .. link ta aachhe bojha jay ..kintu, chokhe dhora pore na.. to jaihok .. aami amolkanti theke sourav ghure ese seshmesh aamar premkahini-r bylane-e dhuke ei lekhar puntki jaam korbo na ... ei galpo ta , ba rather ei 'noshta-lgia' hayto sei hajar khanek premkahinir theke kinchit mahaan ...

"Ru-aam...Ru-aam mane pahare sheetkal, athoba Ru-aam mane ekguccho golap... Hayto sei dinta kakhonoi asbe na jedin amra ru-aam ke ei trimatrik frame-e dhorte parbo .. Bala jay.. ru-aam-e samay theme thake.. athoba ru-aam-e susamay chhilo .."

Bayas ta barchhe bujhte pari .. ekhon kono kichcui thikthak mone porte chai na.. jemon mone pore na ei script tar naam ki chilo ..'Ru-aam'-i hobe bodhhay.. ar oder little magazine-tar naam .. 'Morshum' ... Du-char patar ekta chhotto magazine..protyekta kobita jeno adbhut ekta aalo .. jeno prachur rate nesha kore tolte tolte delhi road-er upor bsoe achhi ar pash diye truck gulo chhute jachhe jhorer mato.. aami ektu ektu kore samne jachhi ar headlight elei paliye jachhi .. mrityuke khuje nicchi kuriye paoa jiban theke .. athoba, kono ek sondhye-y half-open-sky khalasitola-y bose chumuk dicchi matir bhnare rakha banglay ar chokher samne sobkata mukh milemiseh ekakar hoye jachhe .. aami aamar sei hallucination-er modhye dhuke ekbar chhuye dekhte chaichhi protyekta mukh ar omni sob khoaari kete giye ekta adbhut biponnota .. hayto .. aami bose aachhi faanka stage-e ... babuda-pintada light lagachhe ekta unchu moi te chore .. sodyo college chhuti hoye sabai aschhe.. amader stage-tar dike chhnure dichhe koutuhol meshano drishti ..ar ...ar sabar picchone sara akash aalo kore aaschhe o ... algocche chhunre dichhe ekmutho nirbaak , aar aami songe songe likhe felchhi eksho ta kobita ...

'Charminar-er dhoa-ta paak khete khete uporer dike uthchhe , ar kane kane bole jachhe .. ekta, matro ekta aboidho prem.... tate etokhani aagun?'

Sourav amar hostel-er ghore esechhilo bar du-ek .. aami or bariteo gechhi .. aamra galpo shonatam eke oporke . o-i shonato . aami abaak hoe dekhtam .. sotti sotti kibhabe susamay theme jaay.. "ru-aami morshume"... galpo theke jakhan roj uthe asto sudhu dwesh,sudhu ghrina .. raag .. jantrona ... mone mone bhabtam sei aloukik lekha tar katha ..

'Na Sudeshna, e morshume tomar jonye ar ektuo laal nei'

Aami jakhan chakri niye chole aschhi.. sourav bolechhilo haste haste, 'manush tahole sesh parjonto ekta samajbaddho jeeb-i.. tai na? majhe majhe aami bhabi Jyotishka, katokhani bhalobahbe ei kathata bolle katokhani ashlil lagte pare..!!' .. aami uttor dite parini ..hayto.. ei bhabei amar basantogulo ei cubicle-er ashepashe, kono shopping mall-er 'use me' te ba hayto ardhek prithibi dure kono ek shahore eke eke dhuloy mishbe.. aami chitkar korte chaibo .. parbo na.. likhte gele baro ghum pabe .. Sourav-ra takhan hayto nepal ki bhutan ki hayto anyo kothao khuje berachhe Sudeshnake .. chhobi te dhore rakhchhe ek ekta asto basantokaal.. shahor nabyota harate harate thomke jachhe .. ora likhchhe bole ..

Ekhono majhe maje swapno dekhi .. bahudin pore aami esechhi .. jolkada thokthoke maath..sari sari chair pata.. aamar nayak bhenge chure jachhe stage-e ar ekpa kimba ekso haat dure sei bhirer modhye ora esechhe.. dekhbe bole.. Ghum ta bhenge jay..bujhte pari .. Aamar sesh natok tar por curtain pore gechhe .. Drop Scene-er por audience-er dike matha nichu kore dariye aachi aami.. haattali deoar mato ektao lok nei seat-e ..

Amolkanti pareni , Sourav .. Tui paris.. !!

I need you

I need you
I was going to write something about my old wallet, but suddenly it seemed ridiculous. Yes, it's torn and almost unusable, the wallet that felt happy with even a hunderd rupee note cannot any more stand the friction of my credit cards. Maybe, it will leave me soon and a branded new one will replace the 'Shreeleather's dirty sack, still ..
I was almost a kid then, and like every other kid of my age, a huge fan of Suman Chattopadhyay.. there was a time I didn't read Rabi Thakur, but I knew the whole of 'Bose Aanko' or 'Jatismar' .. I don't remenber why he ever stopped, or, even if he had stopped at all..but, somehow we were left orphan .. I heard there was some problem, I didn't believe a single news that spoke bad about him.. I felt defeated.. Maybe, for the reason that he was the first person in my life I felt I have some kind of unseen resonance ..
And then it came, I saw it on the third page of Anandabazaar Patrika, trying to peep out from a pageful of Basak Jewellers and D.K.Lodh's... he's there again, the album, as I remember was named 'Reaching Out'.. the small ad had lines of a song, rendition of the 'Tomake Chai' .. in a somewhat different mood.. I saved the cutting in my diary and many times thought I'd whisper it on one of the never-ending calls to the ones I really wanted ..
I don't remember how many years passed by and how many such songs I have whispered to the women on those endless nights... The small paper-cutting still resides in my torn wallet, the lines never uttered ...

In the trails of the evening breeze,
In a drop of peace, in a moment's ease
In a tired, half-hearted smile,
In a comfort that's so fragile,
In the secret nook of a hidden wish,
In a fantasy you may call childish,
In my dreams, in my foolishness
In the depth of my emptiness ..
I need you ..

It just occurred to me ...

"Give me a prejudice and I shall move the world"

It was a late night 'maal party' at Mitra's place, and we were watching 'once', a musical. A good movie, I must say, and at places inspiring and heart-wrenching. The movie ended but the humming tune was hovering in the dim-lit ambience, and to me suddenly it seemed the most beautiful tune in the world. At times, I really feel sad that I cannot play the guitar. It's become like that childish dream of being 'Tipu Sultan' someday.

The ambience gave way to the famous (?) 'bhalo bhaat', a form of highly productive and construtive gossiping that only few have mastered till date. It started with the never-cliched topic , 'dream of being something someday'... and converged to 'love' in no time, I realised I am slowly getting intoxicated. I know this has happened to me always, in every sessions of these 'maal party's and 'bhaat's, I get that strange drowning feeling, as if I am getting drowned slowly in a quick-sand and I am enjoying every bit of it.Inevitably her face 'flashes upon my inward eyes'... I was thinking of the short story I've written sometimes back..

'Ekta sesh biplober opekkhay,
Rupkothara matha rakhe ashtray-r kole'

'I.. I don't know .. What do you think, revolution exists? .. Somehow, all these terms 'revolution', 'change' somehow sounds too much phoney to me.. somehow.. I can't believe in all these shit..'

'I think, rather I believe it exists, but I also know that my life is too short to witness one .. but maybe when it does there will be a contribution from me, the dreamer's contribution.. I believe in revolution, for I know it will be there one day, and we just cannot fail to recognise when it's there.. we, the dreamers are a minority..and that's why we hold strong to our beliefs.. and that's where we pass/fail ..'

The smoking ace drew a last cigarette from his case and in the dim light he could see a climax he has never written before, it was her, and she was laughing hysterically... and as she laughed like a lunatic.. her face was covered with certain grimness that he'd never seen before .. and he suddenly thought 'revolution' can never exist .. at least for him.. !!

The Corpse and Me .. (2)

I had a theatre group in the small town where I grew up, it started as an alternative to the daily nothingness we always felt. I never loved theatre, and writing was something I knew was beyond my caliber, the only thing I thought I could do was try telling the stories I have seen around me, camouflaging them as stories of other men of other times. So, the retired revolutionary who fled from the battle ground leaving behind his pregnant girlfriend or the boy of 21years who committed suicide just because he thought his utter existence carries no meaning to him, are all in me. I still remember the days of writing scripts, the half-lit cigarettes, the smell of cannabis, and innumerous clones of me, standing all in my small room. Playing all the parts, poking, teasing, laughing and dying..

It was then I asked myself, ‘Will there ever be a moment of truth for me?’… The smoke deepened on the window-panes, the silhouette made the night sky look like a distant road, I could see all the faces smearing to one another... and a voice deep inside me asked, ‘Will the real me ever stand up?’. I felt like I would puke, but I didn’t and like a blaze of gusty wind her ghost covered my existence.

The last time I entered the rehearsal room. My script is finished. It’s all over for me then. I can look at their faces now, faces that waiting to start a story, of their own, I knew my story is finished. “The last time you are going up there”, someone said from my back. My protagonist smiled. I took a small chair and sat behind the scene, far off from the stage, “let them be alive, let me be dead”, I said to myself. Twenty-three seconds, the spotlight is on. It’s all a new world, being born right there. Far off from the stage, I started feeling her breath touching me. Is she still there?

Ten years before her death, on that day, I fell in love.

The corpse and Me ..

“A decade later, when I heard about the news of her death, I could not feel anything… I could still remember the smell of the corpse that hovered in the town for many nights … “

My father was a child of 3 years, when he crossed the first and probably the last border for his lifetime, clutching the hands of a woman already turned schizophrenic as an aftermath of what we call the freedom… little he knew that the generations after him will all bear testimony of something even time wants to forget ..

Long he thought that the ghosts from the old tomb at his place will come someday to visit him, to take him away, and when they finally did, he took less than a moment to recognize his death.
Maybe, after a lifetime of distress, hope had still not forsaken him, for I never again saw the same smile in any dead man’s lip as serene as his.

Maybe, my father was not dreaming at the moment that death struck him and he chose not to leave his dreams to the fear of dying. Years later, when I caressed her for the first time, she confessed that she felt like she will die but she didn’t flinch... She loved it, embraced it. And maybe it was the time she started dreaming of her death… and on that fretful day, when her funeral was almost over, it started raining and I was the only person who knew that she had already dreamt it , dreamt it all.

The police van was waiting outside her house, the corpse lay in her bedroom completely naked, the blood trickled from her wrist and it went down to the table where she had planted a lilac that morning and a half-done poem. They took her to the morgue on the same path she used to go for a walk every evening, the path that lead to eternity. The house was never sold again, for a eerie ambience was always there, and I, sitting comfortably half-a-globe across could smell the rotten corpse. I didn’t know where the smell came from, but, I certainly knew it must be hers.

It was the first time I missed her in decades.


(contd.)